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Switch SyndromePicking petals from a flower gives a better chance to figure me out
What I need, what I want, what I feel
Are usually never on the same page
I won’t mislead you
I won’t lie just to sooth your feelings
My feelings are what they are, when they are
For however long
I’ve been ruined by life, you see
But it’s probably, mostly my fault
I think too much, yet think too little
I’m bi-polar in tendencies
And have an attention deficiency
So I’m on and I’m off
I switch for no good reason
Trying to figure it all at once is probably why I short circuit.
Smile, They Are WatchingI see warms souls on cold roads
Filled with no’s and crows
Which serve but to accent my woes
The darkness of the night seems to be nature’s gift
Just for me
Drowning all of my demons until they quiet down
And let me be
Problems get solved but mine all became a mess
Well I can pile on more and think that I have less
Who’s to say I am broken
Who’s to say I am wrong
I give my all to the world
And still not belong
The Intangible HerI can never truly have her
No she is the freest spirit the world has ever known
The ghosts are jealous, I know
She has a limit when it comes to connection but her love flows abound
And catches everything into its gravity
She thinks it's what she deserves
But you deserve full love in return
Not just hellos and goodbyes of youthful memories
The thing is, I, am the one who doesn't deserve you
But who does?
I hold her embracing that moment, that thoughtful moment
But I don’t fight it
I know I have to let go and patiently wait for you to come back around
For what, you don’t know
But you do; only fear stops the thoughts from progression
I won’t be happy unless I have you
And you won’t be happy unless you have no one
Our baggage would layover in our flight of fears
But you only need the clouds in the sky.
RepulsionEven in my dreams I find no asylum
Seamlessly transitioning to a more conscious labyrinth paved with clarity, fortitude, destruction, and that confounding, indescribable that seems to morph and adjust, but always gripping to “me".
It would seem that my two options are to change and prosper, or retrogress and cease. The tilt slides me from one spectrum to the next with unpleasant frequency but I find my home sits uncomfortably in the between. Craving the heights, then higher, while the abyss sucks me down, ultimately never moving.
The repel of the poles.
A Spark, but No FlameI just want to be the one
That you think about at night
And when you see the morning sun
I'm there still holding tight
Cast aside and your fears
With your preconceived notions
You refused to let me close
So I'll get swept up by the ocean
I never lied
No I never lied
I can't help it I'm petrified
To let you loose
To let me go
Not even my best can navigate your road
They all lead to me
They all lead through me
We are at that age
At such a young age
But the world made us older
So fast we can only remember how it felt, we cannot feel
So I'll pool my collected wisdom
And if your satisfied collecting losses
Then let me step aside
My words have fallen onto too many deaf ears, including my own
Strike down your gut instinct
It has a bad record anyway
My view is brighter and lengthy on the subject
I swear I can persuade you
I can't meet your goals of want
So hard pressed and etch into the careful words you choose
Why are minds so repellent to the wonder of something new
Maybe it's the way the fr
Once You Break.I hit a breaking point. But life was not yet through with me. It had much more in store. Much more agony to pile on. Much more misery to deliver.
I’ve tried anything and everything I can think of. Trying to seek help from any form it may take. Nothing has worked. Nothing is fucking working.
No habit keeps me grounded anymore. I have a hatred for every vice of mine. I tried the drugs, alcohol, sex, crime, debauchery and hedonism. I tried sobriety, abstinence, lawfulness, patience and virtue.
In between all the trying and failing, I couldn’t help but rip apart the skin around my fingernails until it became a deformity. I give my fingertips a break only until my inner cheek needs one.
Maybe my life once had value. Maybe it once held merit. But now, I’ve fallen out of step. I can only see the world as it goes. Pulsing from clarity to befuddlement.
I have nothing to add. Plenty to subtract. My skills and knowledge are better suited for a less fragmented soul. But, w
Painted MemoriesPainted memories
Of the times that we will never see
Never should’ve invested so much time
But I’m so drawn to you like gravity
Promises now broken
Laid out just soak in-
To this mess, or this heart, or at least the part that I left open
The invitation that you left me
Just because you fucking get me
Doesn't mean that I was ready
To have the knife slide through my belly
All I know, I know it well
On this "us" I cannot dwell
I'd rather feel my high
Then let this drag me down through hell
I set my goals and expectations
And kept my Zen like patience
But you'd rather keep me waiting 'til my patience makes a patient
Out of what is left of this soul
Not much, an empty road
I guess I failed another test
As I watched it all unfold.
The Hardest Break-UpIt was a mild summer day
I begged her to stay
I bore my heart and soul
But she left me anyway
What did I say?
What could I have done?
I thought that we were happy
I thought she was the one
Please just tell me
Tell what went wrong
Was it the poems?
Was it my love songs?
You're all I've dreamed of
You said I was it too
I guess that pure love
Wasn't enough for you
Can you only think about yourself?
It pains to ache for someone
Who considers no one else
I saw no signs
No change in mood
You hid it all, all too well
No notes were wrote
No clues to why
But I'm left here in this hell
She was so beautiful
As she laid on our bed
Sunk like lead
Empty containers filled our spread
My beloved, my life
My True SelfI have no inspiration
I have no passion
I am worthless and unmotivated
I am an empty shell
A withering heart
I am unstable
I am powerless and weak
Sick and never healthy
I am detached
Being stepped on and walked over
Always at my worst
I am nothing.
Breathe Love Like AirBreath love like air, and live
Return from the darkness
Embrace all life as kin
And let peace touch your heart
The saccharine kiss of
Hope can make bitterness
Evolve on cynics' tongues
Leaving an aftertaste
Vanquished are the moments
Engulfed in innocence
Life does not let you live
In perfect happiness
Kisses of destiny
Either raze or nourish
A man's deepest beliefs
In pure honesty, I-
Repeat, breath love like air
Doesn't it scare you? Doesn't it scare you?
Doesn't it scare you, knowing that a bullet could take your life away quicker than quick?
Doesn't it scare you, being hit by a grenade harder than brick?
Does the loud sounds of guns firing make you jump?
Do you ever feel scared that you'll never wake up from this nightmare known as war?
Doesn't it scare you Never knowing if you'll make it out alive.
Doesn't it scare you knowing Over hundreds out to kill you... to end your life.
Doesn't it scare you? Possibly being stabbed with a knife?
Although, you shouldn't be scared.
Think of how much your cared.
Loved ones, waiting for your arrival.
Hoping that your the best when it comes to survival.
You are loved and highly adored.
Remember, you are protected by the Lord.
Rising AboveUsing a candle, I held it up to truly see
light took the shadows from your hands
and then I realize now that I am free
I can finally say goodbye to these sad lands.
I had become helplessly and hopelessly buried
I had struggled, choked, and cried
but it was myself that I continuously carried
I believe each moment a piece of me died.
Yet, I could feel a light drawing nearer
I dug myself from the deepest pits of the dirt
now I can stand looking in the mirror
I have risen above this bleeding hurt.
You have done your harmful deeds
but you have failed to bury me completely
reflection is what your heart needs
regardless, I'll say goodbye to you sweetly.
So farewell. Enjoy your lonesome tree.
They are mere threads of pain and fear
skillfully weaved together to form
They plague my mind and
torture my soul
I wish to cut my ties with them
but they are pulling the strings
Dear little creature,
you are nothing more than an illusion
please go home
return to hell and leave
my mind alone
I refuse to be a victim
in this murder case
How dare I allow you to
massacre my dreams
My imagination is not so weak
as to let you run amok
in my mind anymore
Let me rest in peace.
I Can't ImagineI can't imagine how you feel,
the emotions of what you are going through.
All I can do is say "I'm sorry,"
and do my best to be there for you.
The people we love, care for,
even idolize leave at too high a cost.
Because once they are gone, we mourn,
we cry, and even pray for the one we have lost.
I can't imagine how you feel,
while you are bereft of that special person now.
I can swear to you, that this moment and forever on,
my shoulder is yours to lean on, and this I avow.
You are not alone, other hurt now too,
for this loved one touched many a soul.
While in your heart there may be a hole,
In time their memory you'll be able to extol.
I can't imagine how you feel,
I really can't grasp the concept or have a clue.
I won't be able to help you get over it,
but how to live, push forward, and love again; I will, always for you.
Devil's GraceHis lips are pale, shine like 50 shades of moon,
His bony body is wrapped in a blanket cocoon
I sit by his side and read him out aloud,
the second chapter. He doesn't make a single sound.
His lids are swollen from too many whines,
I read the third line three, then four more times
He can't hear anything, lies still asleep
His lungs, they ache, his skin is drenched in heat
I put the book down, grabbed after my sleeve,
Whiped of the tears that I cannot keep,
¨One more week.¨ as the doctors said,
¨His chances are weak and his state is bad.¨
In the evening glow I felt him standing there,
Lurking in the shadows of silent care,
He has no horns like the bible tames,
Looking like the man every woman for prays,
¨Is there something I can do for you?
Something to take away all the cruel
feelings that you feel, tears that you cry
Can I make it better, baby, tell me one more time.¨
And the devil came to me and rubbed some wet streams from my face
Pushed them dry with
CompatabilityI will lie to you
You will have your fun
And I will be no better
When you and I are done
I'll forget your eyes
You will curse my smile
We will both lose sleep
For only a little while
My words I speak are ernest
Every word is true
But I know how it is
I know what I am to you
So when I begin to fall
And you tell me not to feel
I'll echo your vicious words
That "we" were never real
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More