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Switch SyndromePicking petals from a flower gives a better chance to figure me out
What I need, what I want, what I feel
Are usually never on the same page
I won’t mislead you
I won’t lie just to sooth your feelings
My feelings are what they are, when they are
For however long
I’ve been ruined by life, you see
But it’s probably, mostly my fault
I think too much, yet think too little
I’m bi-polar in tendencies
And have an attention deficiency
So I’m on and I’m off
I switch for no good reason
Trying to figure it all at once is probably why I short circuit.
Smile, They Are WatchingI see warms souls on cold roads
Filled with no’s and crows
Which serve but to accent my woes
The darkness of the night seems to be nature’s gift
Just for me
Drowning all of my demons until they quiet down
And let me be
Problems get solved but mine all became a mess
Well I can pile on more and think that I have less
Who’s to say I am broken
Who’s to say I am wrong
I give my all to the world
And still not belong
The Intangible HerI can never truly have her
No she is the freest spirit the world has ever known
The ghosts are jealous, I know
She has a limit when it comes to connection but her love flows abound
And catches everything into its gravity
She thinks it's what she deserves
But you deserve full love in return
Not just hellos and goodbyes of youthful memories
The thing is, I, am the one who doesn't deserve you
But who does?
I hold her embracing that moment, that thoughtful moment
But I don’t fight it
I know I have to let go and patiently wait for you to come back around
For what, you don’t know
But you do; only fear stops the thoughts from progression
I won’t be happy unless I have you
And you won’t be happy unless you have no one
Our baggage would layover in our flight of fears
But you only need the clouds in the sky.
RepulsionEven in my dreams I find no asylum
Seamlessly transitioning to a more conscious labyrinth paved with clarity, fortitude, destruction, and that confounding, indescribable that seems to morph and adjust, but always gripping to “me".
It would seem that my two options are to change and prosper, or retrogress and cease. The tilt slides me from one spectrum to the next with unpleasant frequency but I find my home sits uncomfortably in the between. Craving the heights, then higher, while the abyss sucks me down, ultimately never moving.
The repel of the poles.
A Spark, but No FlameI just want to be the one
That you think about at night
And when you see the morning sun
I'm there still holding tight
Cast aside and your fears
With your preconceived notions
You refused to let me close
So I'll get swept up by the ocean
I never lied
No I never lied
I can't help it I'm petrified
To let you loose
To let me go
Not even my best can navigate your road
They all lead to me
They all lead through me
We are at that age
At such a young age
But the world made us older
So fast we can only remember how it felt, we cannot feel
So I'll pool my collected wisdom
And if your satisfied collecting losses
Then let me step aside
My words have fallen onto too many deaf ears, including my own
Strike down your gut instinct
It has a bad record anyway
My view is brighter and lengthy on the subject
I swear I can persuade you
I can't meet your goals of want
So hard pressed and etch into the careful words you choose
Why are minds so repellent to the wonder of something new
Maybe it's the way the fr
Once You Break.I hit a breaking point. But life was not yet through with me. It had much more in store. Much more agony to pile on. Much more misery to deliver.
I’ve tried anything and everything I can think of. Trying to seek help from any form it may take. Nothing has worked. Nothing is fucking working.
No habit keeps me grounded anymore. I have a hatred for every vice of mine. I tried the drugs, alcohol, sex, crime, debauchery and hedonism. I tried sobriety, abstinence, lawfulness, patience and virtue.
In between all the trying and failing, I couldn’t help but rip apart the skin around my fingernails until it became a deformity. I give my fingertips a break only until my inner cheek needs one.
Maybe my life once had value. Maybe it once held merit. But now, I’ve fallen out of step. I can only see the world as it goes. Pulsing from clarity to befuddlement.
I have nothing to add. Plenty to subtract. My skills and knowledge are better suited for a less fragmented soul. But, w
Painted MemoriesPainted memories
Of the times that we will never see
Never should’ve invested so much time
But I’m so drawn to you like gravity
Promises now broken
Laid out just soak in-
To this mess, or this heart, or at least the part that I left open
The invitation that you left me
Just because you fucking get me
Doesn't mean that I was ready
To have the knife slide through my belly
All I know, I know it well
On this "us" I cannot dwell
I'd rather feel my high
Then let this drag me down through hell
I set my goals and expectations
And kept my Zen like patience
But you'd rather keep me waiting 'til my patience makes a patient
Out of what is left of this soul
Not much, an empty road
I guess I failed another test
As I watched it all unfold.
The Hardest Break-UpIt was a mild summer day
I begged her to stay
I bore my heart and soul
But she left me anyway
What did I say?
What could I have done?
I thought that we were happy
I thought she was the one
Please just tell me
Tell what went wrong
Was it the poems?
Was it my love songs?
You're all I've dreamed of
You said I was it too
I guess that pure love
Wasn't enough for you
Can you only think about yourself?
It pains to ache for someone
Who considers no one else
I saw no signs
No change in mood
You hid it all, all too well
No notes were wrote
No clues to why
But I'm left here in this hell
She was so beautiful
As she laid on our bed
Sunk like lead
Empty containers filled our spread
My beloved, my life
My True SelfI have no inspiration
I have no passion
I am worthless and unmotivated
I am an empty shell
A withering heart
I am unstable
I am powerless and weak
Sick and never healthy
I am detached
Being stepped on and walked over
Always at my worst
I am nothing.
Broken PiecesIn a thousand broken pieces,
lies my shattered heart.
In falling it just hit the ground
and simply fell apart.
Hearing of your betrayal,
caused it to crack and splitter.
Your crushing words they grind it further,
into sparkling glitter.
Now with my heart broken,
gone too my hope and trust.
The remnants of my pulverized heart
get blown away like dust.
A poem by Suzanne Karbach 14th August 2014
Finger TipsTake my hand, and let us fly
We both know you are not shy,
Just scared of rejection
I, too, lack affection.
Though I would never use you
To fill holes no one can view.
So, are you ready yet?
Please, my dear, do not fret.
Let me take you far away
As to help you make your day.
No harm is intended
For hate here is ended.
You deserve only the best
Not because you need a rest,
Since time is drawing signs
Guiding me to your lines.
Closed DoorsLeave me alone
Let me lose
Myself in the ocean
Where I will be
Let me stay
Away from the clock
Of our days.
Of the reality
Waiting for me
With a knife.
I don’t want
To leave behind
The best years
Of my life.
What I like
Fades it out.
Soon will be
Dust these words
In your memory.
Saving HerSave yourself, because I can't save you.
You are drowning in your own sorrows,
Lungs burning with the need for air.
Your wrists feel numb,
inviting you to cut deeper.
You pull your hair out,
Scream into your pillow at night.
You have stomach ulcers,
Light one cigarette after another.
You look in the mirror and see the ghost you have become,
Sickly smile at yourself.
You give your body freely,
Even if you hate it.
You lift your chin high,
But let your heart drag on the ground,
Kicking stones away,
While tripping in your mind.
Falling, you laugh.
Not even bracing for impact.
Earnest and FrivolousStories
Written in these black and blue—
Held on a—
Hand me another bottle of pills
And because I know you
I’ll lock my words in my throat
Bring them up when I’m all alone.
Walk with me
Breathe in my panic
Then go away.
I've learned the only way
Is to stop feeding off of social interactions
And fold inside of myself
And smile smile smile for you
Because you’ll never see no matter how much I show you
Is to be happy
Because I am very happy.
I won't say good morning to you
Because despite what I've learned
I'm angry at you
You still aren’t seeing
Still aren’t there.
It's my own way of saying
Something's wrong with me.
I was never angry with you
Because you were always there
It’s why I say good morning
And love saying it.
Don’t hold me
Because I can’t stand you anymore
Leave me alone.
Hold me, please
Never leave me.
less or morea little darkness
tugging at my sleeve
trying to bring me down
and get happy to leave
a cloud eager to rain
upon my parade
a simple game
of less or more afraid
if I doubt
the things I know
my candle will
if I fear
their empty threat
I'll lose myself
to nagging regret
I Am, Am I?Am I to die, am I to sleep?
Am I to swim in pools so deep?
Am I to smile when I should cry?
Am I to fake oaths for the Sky?
I am the Ground that broke apart;
I am a Tennessean heart.
I am an empty ventricle,
I am a pointless article.
My chipped polish is ancient blood,
My hair bow shields me from the flood;
My scratches glimmer in the light,
My bruises—such an ardent sight!
I am pointless, I am content,
I don’t mind falling through the vent;
If others join me down there,
It will beg me to disappear.
His Pony DakotaThe day I was born
There was so much joy
I was moms sweet little baby boy.
Days turned into weeks
And weeks to years
I was so scared and lonely
No one ever saw my tears.
Locked in a stall
Where the walls were so high
The only thing I could see
Was the great big sky.
All I ever had
Was just my name
In all four of my feet
I was in so much pain because I was lame.
I would tremble from noises
I could never see
I was always so afraid
Something would hurt me.
Then with a kind voice
He would reach out to me
He would never get angry
When I would turn and flee.
He would always come back
And reach out his hand
With his kind voice he would say
"That's ok little man, I understand".
I thought I would never know
Love and happiness again
Until the day I licked
The hand of a friend.
He paid 50$ for me
And to some that was cheap
To him I was priceless
And his to keep.
He took me home
And cut down my walls
When I hear him pull up
He would answer my calls.
It was ok with him
That I could not pull my weig
Unique by Myria-MoonN’aie pas peur , et cultive ta différence ,
Peu importe ce que les autres en pensent …
Laisse ton originalité s’exprimer ,
Et sois celui dont on se souviendra en premier …
Car l’immortalité peut être négociée ,
Le tout est de savoir marquer !
Donc existe , ne cherche pas à rentrer dans le moule ,
Car l’éternité n’est pas au milieu de la foule …
Alors chaque pensée vers toi te fera légende ,
Et comme le Phénix tu renaîtras de tes cendres !
Coco alias Myria-Moon
CompatabilityI will lie to you
You will have your fun
And I will be no better
When you and I are done
I'll forget your eyes
You will curse my smile
We will both lose sleep
For only a little while
My words I speak are ernest
Every word is true
But I know how it is
I know what I am to you
So when I begin to fall
And you tell me not to feel
I'll echo your vicious words
That "we" were never real
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