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Switch SyndromePicking petals from a flower gives a better chance to figure me out
What I need, what I want, what I feel
Are usually never on the same page
I won’t mislead you
I won’t lie just to sooth your feelings
My feelings are what they are, when they are
For however long
I’ve been ruined by life, you see
But it’s probably, mostly my fault
I think too much, yet think too little
I’m bi-polar in tendencies
And have an attention deficiency
So I’m on and I’m off
I switch for no good reason
Trying to figure it all at once is probably why I short circuit.
Smile, They Are WatchingI see warms souls on cold roads
Filled with no’s and crows
Which serve but to accent my woes
The darkness of the night seems to be nature’s gift
Just for me
Drowning all of my demons until they quiet down
And let me be
Problems get solved but mine all became a mess
Well I can pile on more and think that I have less
Who’s to say I am broken
Who’s to say I am wrong
I give my all to the world
And still not belong
The Intangible HerI can never truly have her
No she is the freest spirit the world has ever known
The ghosts are jealous, I know
She has a limit when it comes to connection but her love flows abound
And catches everything into its gravity
She thinks it's what she deserves
But you deserve full love in return
Not just hellos and goodbyes of youthful memories
The thing is, I, am the one who doesn't deserve you
But who does?
I hold her, embracing that moment, that thoughtful moment
But I don’t fight it
I know I have to let go and patiently wait for you to come back around
For what, you don’t know
But you do; only fear stops the thoughts from progression
I won’t be happy unless I have you
And you won’t be happy unless you have no one
Our baggage would layover in our flight of fears
But you only need the clouds in the sky.
RepulsionEven in my dreams I find no asylum
Seamlessly transitioning to a more conscious labyrinth paved with clarity, fortitude, destruction, and that confounding, indescribable that seems to morph and adjust, but always gripping to “me".
It would seem that my two options are to change and prosper, or retrogress and cease. The tilt slides me from one spectrum to the next with unpleasant frequency but I find my home sits uncomfortably in the between. Craving the heights, then higher, while the abyss sucks me down, ultimately never moving.
The repel of the poles.
A Spark, but No FlameI just want to be the one
That you think about at night
And when you see the morning sun
I'm there still holding tight
Cast aside and your fears
With your preconceived notions
You refused to let me close
So I'll get swept up by the ocean
I never lied
No I never lied
I can't help it I'm petrified
To let you loose
To let me go
Not even my best can navigate your road
They all lead to me
They all lead through me
We are at that age
At such a young age
But the world made us older
So fast we can only remember how it felt, we cannot feel
So I'll pool my collected wisdom
And if your satisfied collecting losses
Then let me step aside
My words have fallen onto too many deaf ears, including my own
Strike down your gut instinct
It has a bad record anyway
My view is brighter and lengthy on the subject
I swear I can persuade you
I can't meet your goals of want
So hard pressed and etch into the careful words you choose
Why are minds so repellent to the wonder of something new
Maybe it's the way the fr
Once You Break.I hit a breaking point. But life was not yet through with me. It had much more in store. Much more agony to pile on. Much more misery to deliver.
I’ve tried anything and everything I can think of. Trying to seek help from any form it may take. Nothing has worked. Nothing is fucking working.
No habit keeps me grounded anymore. I have a hatred for every vice of mine. I tried the drugs, alcohol, sex, crime, debauchery and hedonism. I tried sobriety, abstinence, lawfulness, patience and virtue.
In between all the trying and failing, I couldn’t help but rip apart the skin around my fingernails until it became a deformity. I give my fingertips a break only until my inner cheek needs one.
Maybe my life once had value. Maybe it once held merit. But now, I’ve fallen out of step. I can only see the world as it goes. Pulsing from clarity to befuddlement.
I have nothing to add. Plenty to subtract. My skills and knowledge are better suited for a less fragmented soul. But, w
Painted MemoriesPainted memories
Of the times that we will never see
Never should’ve invested so much time
But I’m so drawn to you like gravity
Promises now broken
Laid out just soak in-
To this mess, or this heart, or at least the part that I left open
The invitation that you left me
Just because you fucking get me
Doesn't mean that I was ready
To have the knife slide through my belly
All I know, I know it well
On this "us" I cannot dwell
I'd rather feel my high
Then let this drag me down through hell
I set my goals and expectations
And kept my Zen like patience
But you'd rather keep me waiting 'til my patience makes a patient
Out of what is left of this soul
Not much, an empty road
I guess I failed another test
As I watched it all unfold.
The Hardest Break-UpIt was a mild summer day
I begged her to stay
I bore my heart and soul
But she left me anyway
What did I say?
What could I have done?
I thought that we were happy
I thought she was the one
Please just tell me
Tell what went wrong
Was it the poems?
Was it my love songs?
You're all I've dreamed of
You said I was it too
I guess that pure love
Wasn't enough for you
Can you only think about yourself?
It pains to ache for someone
Who considers no one else
I saw no signs
No change in mood
You hid it all, all too well
No notes were wrote
No clues to why
But I'm left here in this hell
She was so beautiful
As she laid on our bed
Sunk like lead
Empty containers filled our spread
My beloved, my life
My True SelfI have no inspiration
I have no passion
I am worthless and unmotivated
I am an empty shell
A withering heart
I am unstable
I am powerless and weak
Sick and never healthy
I am detached
Being stepped on and walked over
Always at my worst
I am nothing.
I can tHow can I begin this life anew?
Even though I know you would want me to.
I just don´t know the place I should start,
how do I repair my broken heart?
Searching for direction
which way do I go?
A year almost over but
I have nothing to show.
I´m just treading water,
I´m getting nowhere.
still on the spot
where you left me last year.
I will love you forever,
it´s only you that I want
I should move on I know
but I just can´t.
By Suzanne karbach Sept 2014
Little Darlin'Little darlin' with the precious heart,
rest here a little while longer with me
let me run my fingers in your long hair
I'm so glad that together we are free
you gave me a connection to share.
I had once thought you would leave
forever gone and I would be unforgiven
you said that I simply didn't believe
but you had never stopped being driven.
Feeling your skin now as it is bare
I can see the scars I have left on you
yet they're worn with pride and without scare
you loved me more than I ever knew.
Lay here with me, let me soak you in
into your warm, sweet scent I burrow
run your fingertips along my chin
wipe away my brow's furrow.
Yes, just as you've always done for me
through agonizing heartbreak and pain
even after you left me at that tree
after that, we both stood in sorrow rain.
I had been so foolish, so selfish before
I feared you would never take me again
but I ran hopeful and scared to your door
and it was a lack of love you couldn't feign.
A smile and kiss bound us together
A Garden Full of Butterflies.When youth was sun and cloudless skies
and a garden full of butterflies,
and daisies waiting to be chains
in meadows where it never rained.
When lambs jumped joyous every spring
and I heard every bluebird sing
and all the adults told the truth
in the dream that was my youth.
When Santa granted every wish.
When my pond was filled with golden fish
and a cow leapt high to reach the moon
and Grampa sung a funny tune.
When paper dolls danced in a line
and sugared bread to eat was fine,
and adults never gave me rules
least not before I went to school!
When time was just an honoured guest
he flitted in – but took a rest.
Moving not, he watched me grow
in Happy-Ever-After glow.
All of this, it was my Truth
in lengthened days, where dwelt my youth –
when youth was sun and cloudless skies
and a garden full of butterflies...
ParadiseHis heart matched the beat of a magic song,
his chest was my pillow, and nothing was wrong.
The dark green of his eyes hypnotized me,
I felt it all the way to my soul, finally free.
His skin was smooth, my fingertips felt at home,
stroking his cheek, his arm, letting my hands roam.
Paradise isn't a dream, or a place faraway,
it's being wrapped in his arms, knowing I'm okay.
I am Who I Am and by Me Only MeI am Who I am
A poem by AFlyingPassion
I’m a… freak
a person who has no life,
a person who steal someone’s watchers,
a piece of trash,
a discerning person,
a c*nt, a
a mental person.
A disgusting person
A person who needs to get a life
A person who can’t drive
A person who has problems
Some people wish that I would die,
end up being FOREVER alone.
No matter what people end up calling me hoping to put me down, this is me and ME only.
Have a creative mind
A giggly person
A one of a kind
A lover of animals and family
Genuinely loved by different people
FadeToo ashamed to keep you alive
But too attached to let you die
You want to humiliate me? Fine,
I banish you to nothing at all
But I’ll remake you, change my mind
Again, you’ll be a part of my life
I’ll try to make it all alright
I’ll stay this way, sit and stall
But I’ll know you shouldn’t stay
Can’t fix the broken heart I made
In the end I’ll let you fade
I’ll be too tired to carry on
Bits of String and TwineI hold my heart together with
Some bits of string and twine
I've gathered from the littered scraps
My life has left behind.
But twine it cannot hope to hold
This fractured heart of mine
And fill the hollow hole that you
Have cruelly left behind.
CompatabilityI will lie to you
You will have your fun
And I will be no better
When you and I are done
I'll forget your eyes
You will curse my smile
We will both lose sleep
For only a little while
My words I speak are ernest
Every word is true
But I know how it is
I know what I am to you
So when I begin to fall
And you tell me not to feel
I'll echo your vicious words
That "we" were never real
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More